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Ophelia ([personal profile] chariestmaid) wrote2025-01-03 02:12 pm

of ladies most deject and wretched

The first feeling is fury. When Ophelia wakes from a warbling, uncertain dream like the reedy call of a recorder, there are tears in her eyes, but she can tell they're tears of anger. Ophelia would always cry, whenever she tried to argue on her own behalf, always broke down and bit her tongue before she got another word in. But if something saddened her, she could never summon tears. Her father didn't believe her because of it — she doubted her own feelings, doubted they counted if she couldn't express them appropriately. Hamlet could, he could swear his love with all the holy vows of heaven, before he ripped up his own words and threw them back at her.

And now her father’s left her, to weep herself to sleep. All propriety, all decorum left with him, not that it was been enough to cover her. He put his jacket on her shoulders instead of his arm, and turned his back to her, to go with the king.

Fury fades, and what remains is a drowsy numbness, a sense of wrongness as she sees herself as if from the outside: a missing cog in a breaking-down machine. What should she be feeling now? Ophelia doesn't know.

Hamlet was right, she thinks. She wasn't made to live in a court. She should have been a convent girl. She should have worn a veil, so no man could ever see her face, nor smear the paintings from it.  The chariest maid, her brother once said, is prodigal enough if she unmask her beauty to the moon. She keeps her eyes down, lest the moon catch her crying, or her angry tears unmask her.

When she looks up again, she's still clutching her father's jacket, thinking of the shame she'll bring when she's found out of doors. How did she come to be in these woods? It’s a quiet relief, after the stone walls of Elsinore, to see so much green.
timebethine: A picture of a white man with curly brown hair, halfway through saying something that he clearly finds exciting. His eyes are wide and bright. (Alight)

[personal profile] timebethine 2025-01-05 09:38 pm (UTC)(link)
He bends his head to rest his brow against hers. "This place has stripped me of ceremony, along with every care but thy happiness. Tell me, Ophelia, wherefore thy tears?"
timebethine: A greyscale picture of a white man with curly brown hair; his collar is askew in the wind. He has a serious expression. (Default)

[personal profile] timebethine 2025-01-08 03:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Quietly, "I'm here now. I would I had been beside thee then."
timebethine: A picture of a white man with curly brown hair, halfway through saying something that he clearly finds exciting. His eyes are wide and bright. (Alight)

[personal profile] timebethine 2025-01-16 04:33 pm (UTC)(link)
"I've been well," says Laertes, still softly. Words have always come easily for him, with her; he has always known what to tell her that she should do, because he's heard it from their father a thousand times. To speak of himself is harder. No one has ever given him the words for it. "I've been--I've been here a year; that house thou seest behind me, I've built with mine own hands--Ophelia, I'm married, and I have a daughter--"
timebethine: A picture of a white man with curly brown hair, halfway through saying something that he clearly finds exciting. His eyes are wide and bright. (Alight)

[personal profile] timebethine 2025-01-17 12:23 am (UTC)(link)
"She's just turned two--we adopted her as a foundling. She's so quick, Ophelia. She knows her numbers to ten, and she can speak almost in full sentences now, and she loves more than anything to help me in the kitchen." He draws back at last to smile, and his face is bright with unrestrained, ardent joy. It is, perhaps, the first time in a long time that Ophelia has seen her brother with his expression unguarded.
timebethine: A greyscale picture of a white man with curly dark hair, smiling hugely. (Silly)

[personal profile] timebethine 2025-01-24 03:32 pm (UTC)(link)
"I have--cook, and baker, and farmer besides. Come, see our garden--" He takes her by the hand and tugs her around the house, over the brick patio with its sturdy pergola and toward the garden: the thick and leafy cabbage and kale, the twining squash and bean vines, the tomatoes and peppers laden with ripe red fruit. Closer to the house, there are beds of herbs--fennel, dill, and rosemary jostling with thyme and sage, buckets spilling over with nasturtiums and parsley and basil and marjoram. It's clearly a kitchen garden, rather than a gentleman's, but there's a kind of lush beauty to it all the same.
timebethine: A greyscale picture of a white man with curly brown hair; his collar is askew in the wind. He has a serious expression. (Default)

[personal profile] timebethine 2025-01-24 05:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Quietly, "I've never forgotten thee. Not for a day. Not for an hour."
timebethine: A picture of a white man with curly hair, looking down and away. He is wearing a suit and tie. (Quiet)

[personal profile] timebethine 2025-01-30 03:40 pm (UTC)(link)
For that, he has to draw her into an embrace again, tucking her into the warm compass of his arms and kissing her thick curls. He's too used to hugging men taller than himself, now; her smallness is shocking, and the shock washes over him like dread. "Wilt thou come inside with me, and let me make the tea, and tell me all of thy troubles?"
timebethine: A picture of a white man with curly hair, looking down and away. He is wearing a suit and tie. (Quiet)

[personal profile] timebethine 2025-02-24 05:22 pm (UTC)(link)
"Nay, I have none of mine own; thou canst be an anchor to me."
timebethine: A picture of a white man with curly hair, looking down and away. He is wearing a suit and tie. (Quiet)

[personal profile] timebethine 2025-04-03 11:04 am (UTC)(link)
Laertes reaches out to take both of her hands, thumbs pressing in the hollows of her palms. His heartbeat is loud in his ears, his throat tight and thick with panic. "What happened, Ophelia?"
timebethine: A greyscale picture of a white man with curly brown hair; his collar is askew in the wind. He has a serious expression. (Default)

[personal profile] timebethine 2025-04-06 10:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Rage rises in Laertes's throat, thick and acrid. If Hamlet were here, he thinks, Laertes would demand satisfaction--face him down with a blade and all the hot bile surging within him, and force him to apologize or to bleed. A vicious part of him has been craving a slight that he can avenge; it seems so long that he's carried his anger at Luo Binghe, unsatisfied, hooded and tame like a falcon whose claws were meant to rend.

But Hamlet isn't here. Ophelia is. Ophelia is here, in this miraculous place where lives are remade. "He hurt thee," he says, hushed. "Didst love him."
timebethine: A greyscale picture of a white man with curly brown hair; his collar is askew in the wind. He has a serious expression. (Default)

[personal profile] timebethine 2025-04-09 09:43 pm (UTC)(link)
"Our father has forgot much of love," says Laertes, and presses her hands. "He was mad with love for her, in their rosy youth; he sickened with it, and could neither eat nor sleep, and raved or muttered to himself by turns--in all things most distract. What man so deeply pierced by Cupid's arrow could bear his lover's death? An he counseled thee that love was empty, a mere bauble to cast like a die on the hazard of advancement, it was to protect thee from suffering as he did ... or because his grief turns all thought of love to ashes in his breast."
timebethine: A greyscale picture of a white man with curly brown hair; his collar is askew in the wind. He has a serious expression. (Default)

[personal profile] timebethine 2025-04-11 03:29 pm (UTC)(link)
He thinks of Claudius and Galahad, held apart by a gulf of memory and duty; he thinks of the two of them bridging that gap together, with flowers and pledges and the witnessing eyes of their friends. "Seen it, ay--and seen it mended."
timebethine: A greyscale picture of a white man with curly brown hair; his collar is askew in the wind. He has a serious expression. (Default)

[personal profile] timebethine 2025-04-14 08:26 pm (UTC)(link)
"I remember her only a little," Laertes admits. "But I think that, had she lived, our father's strictures would have been tempered with human kindness. I think ... I think he needed her to tell him when he had left the world of passions and practicalities and entered into a world of abstractions."

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