of ladies most deject and wretched

[chariestmaid]

The first feeling is fury. When Ophelia wakes from a warbling, uncertain dream like the reedy call of a recorder, there are tears in her eyes, but she can tell they're tears of anger. Ophelia would always cry, whenever she tried to argue on her own behalf, always broke down and bit her tongue before she got another word in. But if something saddened her, she could never summon tears. Her father didn't believe her because of it — she doubted her own feelings, doubted they counted if she couldn't express them appropriately. Hamlet could, he could swear his love with all the holy vows of heaven, before he ripped up his own words and threw them back at her.

And now her father’s left her, to weep herself to sleep. All propriety, all decorum left with him, not that it was been enough to cover her. He put his jacket on her shoulders instead of his arm, and turned his back to her, to go with the king.

Fury fades, and what remains is a drowsy numbness, a sense of wrongness as she sees herself as if from the outside: a missing cog in a breaking-down machine. What should she be feeling now? Ophelia doesn't know.

Hamlet was right, she thinks. She wasn't made to live in a court. She should have been a convent girl. She should have worn a veil, so no man could ever see her face, nor smear the paintings from it.  The chariest maid, her brother once said, is prodigal enough if she unmask her beauty to the moon. She keeps her eyes down, lest the moon catch her crying, or her angry tears unmask her.

When she looks up again, she's still clutching her father's jacket, thinking of the shame she'll bring when she's found out of doors. How did she come to be in these woods? It’s a quiet relief, after the stone walls of Elsinore, to see so much green.

Comments

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Indeed we must," says Susan, patting Ophelia's arm where it's linked with her own. "Do you see that building there, by the lake? It was the office of my friend Thomas for a good while. He was a proper magician detective - still is, I expect, but he's been away for some time now. I make sure it's maintained, though, and it's got such a lovely proper tea service."

[chariestmaid]

"A magician detective," Ophelia repeats, letting the idea sink in, impress its native ink on her. "What does he do? ... Did he do?"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"If I'm honest, we mostly discussed London and tea and rationing." There's no way Susan is going to overwhelm Ophelia with stories of books about residents if she's just going to be here for the day. "I understand he does rather a lot of magic, and in London, uses it to aid the solving of crimes."

[chariestmaid]

"I once thought I saw ghosts," she says. It's chilling to think how many spirits must linger in Denmark, if she were right. Her father thinks she was an overimaginative child. "Is it magic like that?"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Yes, from what I understand. Among other things. Thomas and I spoke more of the England we remembered than the magic he practiced, I'm afraid, but there are others here who can say more about it." The distance to the lake-house feels shorter today, and they're quickly at the door. Without releasing Ophelia's arm, Susan opens it and nods for her to slip inside. "The magic of this world is different, though. It's less obvious and tremendously more useful."

[chariestmaid]

Susan guides her well, as well as any gentleman. Ophelia thinks she prefers it this way. "Useful how?"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"It provides any sort of item you might wish - and a great many you mightn't think to ask for."